The mind’s hidden trap: why managers avoid learning (even when they know they should)

I have worked with managers at all levels, from first-time team leaders to seasoned executives. And one thing never fails to surprise me: even when managers know the value of learning and training, they often hesitate to invest in themselves.

It’s not the schedule, not the budget, not even the content. It’s something far more subtle: the mind… that clever little trickster that convinces you growth is risky.

“I don’t need this,” one manager tells themselves. “If I ask for training, they will think I’m not capable.” Another avoids writing things down because they believe remembering everything is a sign of intelligence. Seriously, I have seen it countless times. Managers refuse a notebook because they think taking notes makes them look weak. Neuroscience disagrees. Writing things down strengthens memory, understanding, and problem-solving. But try telling your ego that.

I have been there too, although my experience was different. Early in my career, I was fortunate: my managers encouraged me to attend workshops and training, and I embraced it wholeheartedly. I loved it. I saw how investing in myself made me stronger, more confident, and more capable. Yet, even with that support, my mind found ways to doubt: “Do I really need this? Will I look incapable if I ask for more?”  It wasn’t about my bosses; they were amazing. It was the ego-driven scripts my brain whispered. Letting go of them changed everything. Training didn’t make me weaker, it made me stronger, more confident, and more effective. And my team felt it too. People notice when leaders invest in themselves. Trust deepens. Motivation grows. Performance improves.

Here’s the irony: the mind wants to protect us, but sometimes it does the opposite. Cognitive science calls this self-protective bias, our natural tendency to avoid risk, feedback, or perceived embarrassment. It’s why people resist new challenges, shy away from asking questions, or skip learning opportunities. And yet, the bigger risk is not trying, it’s stagnating.

I have noticed subtle ways this plays out in workshops. Some managers won’t write notes, convinced it signals weakness. Others avoid simulations or role-playing exercises because they fear looking silly. And still others hesitate to ask for training because they worry “What if I can’t handle it?”  Meanwhile, research tells a very different story. Writing, reflecting, and practicing literally strengthens the brain. Leaders who embrace learning under pressure are measurably more effective. Those who cling to a “fixed mindset” stagnate.

The science backs it up. Research on executive function shows that leaders who seek feedback, reflect on mistakes, and challenge assumptions consistently perform better under pressure. Carol Dweck’s work on the growth mindset shows that embracing learning, even when it’s uncomfortable, is a predictor of leadership success. And neuroscience confirms that active reflection and practice reshape neural pathways, making us smarter, faster, and more adaptable.

Personal leadership is not just about guiding others; it’s about guiding yourself. It’s about noticing the mental traps that make you hesitate and choosing growth anyway. Training is not an admission of weakness, it’s a signal of courage, curiosity, and responsibility. Vulnerability is not a flaw; it’s a superpower. Leaders who embrace it create stronger teams, deeper trust, and better results.

I have also learned this in small, everyday ways. I notice how many managers hesitate to delegate because they secretly think, “If I let them do it, they might fail and that will reflect badly on me.”  Or how some avoid giving feedback because it feels uncomfortable. Or even the tiny habit of not writing down decisions fearing it will make them look forgetful. These seemingly small choices snowball. They cost time, energy, trust, and clarity. And yet, the solution is simple: acknowledge the fear, recognize the ego, and do it anyway.

So here’s a practical challenge: next time your mind whispers “I don’t need this”  or “What will they think?”, pause. Take out a notebook. Sign up for that workshop. Ask the question. Practice the skill. Track the reflection. Observe what happens. Often, the ripple effect surprises you: confidence grows, trust deepens, mistakes decrease, and influence expands.

A manager who dares to learn isn’t just “in the game” they are shaping it. They aren’t guessing under pressure; they are equipped, prepared, and confident. And when leaders grow, everyone around them grows too. Training is not optional. It isn’t a luxury. It’s part of personal leadership… part of the job.

After all, the mind will always try to protect you. But real leadership is choosing growth anyway.

Peter Henssen

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